ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
