he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
