No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
