Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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