keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize