I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she told me i tasted like america
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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