I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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