last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
