So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
