I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
please come you make the beer taste better
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
