walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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