does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
