did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
