my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
