what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
only you would photoshop your dick
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
