he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
