just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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