I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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