i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
