I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
