some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
