We named our party play list daddy issues
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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