i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
