A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
