My pussy is not your playground.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
