I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Your mouth is God's brothel.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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