shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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