K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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