He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
