she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
