Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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