your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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