Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize