I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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