Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize