I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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