So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
