took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
wow bdsm is so cute
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