I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
