What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
