Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
