and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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