I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Farmville is her only friend.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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