shes about as inviting as chlamydia
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
