Me too!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
