is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
