I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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