she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize