Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
