I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
