you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
