idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm just crazy horny about you
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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