Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize