If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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