just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
