There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
