It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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