Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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