No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
try to milk me bitch
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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