I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize