My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
