i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
