well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
