so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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