More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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