Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
