that's an acceptable place to lick
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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