There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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